I Laughed, I Cried

Jimmy Kimmel kills me, and the look on Jennifer Garner’s face is priceless.  And I’ll never eat movie popcorn again.

Friday Funny – From The Email Bag

Got a chuckle from this one.  Thanks Barry.

A nice story – the elderly are beautiful.

 When we get older we think differently, don’t we? This letter was sent to the Principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.  An elderly woman received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind.

 

Dear Kean Elementary:

 

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon.  I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family have passed away.. I am all alone now and it’s nice to know that  someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.

 

The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God’s way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.

 

Thank you for that opportunity.

 

Sincerely,

 

Agnes

 

There Is Dancing In Hockey?

Adrian Alverstein likes winning.  Victory dance performed after a league game in Norway.  Question:  Will this catch on in North America?  Two minutes for excessive celebration?

Helpful Signs – An Educational Series

Today’s educational sign will make eating pizza so much more enjoyable, or, in other words, the nanny state loses its’ perspective on reality.  Or perhaps someone won a lawsuit against the box maker.  I don’t know, but you have to admit it is very, very helpful.

 

Helpful Signs – An Educational Series

As a public service, I will be posting a series of helpful hints and educational signs that will be helpful in our daily lives.  Enjoy today’s helpful sign that may actually save you some horrific injuries.  Helpful hint for budding photographers, try not to do a selfie while capturing the shot.

The Continuing Adventures of Pirate Guy

It seems like my buddy in the Dominican Republic either has too much time on his hands, or he is planning to invade Haiti.  Pirate Guy builds a trebuchet.

Red Green – This Is A Man’s Car

English: Line-up of the various characters as seen in the 2004 season of the Red Green Show, prior to the taping of an episode in October 2004. Taken at CBC Building in downtown Toronto, nowhere near the woods or the outdoors, as portrayed in the show. Shown in centre, camera left to right: Bob Bainborough (as Dalton Humphrey), Jeff Lumby (as Winston Rothschild III), Wayne Robson (as Mike Hamar), and (possibly?) Jerry Schaefer (as Ed Frid). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Our favourite handyman, Red Green, upgrades the carburetor on his car.  Sweet!!!

 

 

I Cannot Tell A Lie, I Got Some Liebsters (And A Song By Parov Stelar)

Thought For The Day

 

What if farting was contagious like yawning?

 

A quick note to thank a couple of blogs I have followed lately for bestowing the World Famous Liebster Award to me.  I am a bit of a party pooper (hmm, my thoughts are pretty potty today) though, as I will happily acknowledge the receipt, but am far to lazy to pass it on.

 

First The Grimm Report.  Love this one, very good sense of humour and one I love to pop in on regularly. Check this one out.

 

Second The Ratchet Review.  Another recent addition to my reading day.  Lots of quick posts, very nicely done, with plenty of humour.  Worth the time to pop in and say hi.

 

Parov Stelar (Photo credit: Misantrofia)

 

And now a song.  I heard this on the TV the other night, no idea what show (we were drinking a touch of wine).  Blew me away.  Bought the album, very happy guy.  The artist is Parov Stelar, the song The Paris Swing Box.

 

 

Ok – Two Weeks Is Enough

Had a lovely break.  Got some new glasses, some prescription swimming sight utensils, a pair of deck shoes, a haircut, booked some swimming lessons and a physical and bought a cool hat.  Basically, nothing.  What did you expect.  I did manage to stock up some good stuff as well.  Enjoy this beauty.

The Arrogance of Authority

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”The rancher said, “Okay , but don’t go in that field over there…..”, as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, ” Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!”
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

“See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…. On any land !!
No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear……do you understand ?!!”
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull……

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs…..

(I just love this part….)
“Your badge, show him your BADGE…….. ! !”

Taking A Break

See you in a couple of weeks.  Here’s a funny for you

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “make a difference” in the world.

It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other “seniors” who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.

 Harold Jenkins is such a person:

THIS IS QUOTED FROM HAROLD:

“I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you do now that you’re retired?’

Well….I’m fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whiskey into urine.

It’s rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling.

I do it every day and I really enjoy it.”

Harold should be an inspiration to us all.