A Clean Joke For A Change

Two Trees and A Woodpecker

birch (Photo credit: katdaned)

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here
is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree
begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, ‘Is that a son
of a beech or a son of a birch?’ The birch says he cannot tell, but just
then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, ‘Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is
a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, ‘It is neither
a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash

I have ever poked my pecker into.

Song Of The Day – Cut Copy – "Where I'm Going"

Cut Copy - Lollapalooza 2010
Cut Copy – Lollapalooza 2010 (Photo credit: kate.gardiner)

Australian band, Cut Copy, released this song in 2010 and is from their album “Zonoscope”.  Great song, kind of a 21st century Beach Boys thing.

Cut Copy Home

Cut Copy on Twitter

Cut Copy on iTunes

Where I’m Going

Canada’s Best Music – 5 Songs At A Time – Part 29

A mix of old and new, from Gowan  to Plaskett, a good set.

1. Barenaked Ladies


Barenaked Ladies
Barenaked Ladies (Photo credit: Houston Marsh)

The Barenaked Ladies are a major Canadian success story.  Their cheeky style and interesting lyrics set them apart from most contemporaries.  This is their first entry on the best music list, the first of many.

2. Gowan

“Strange Animal”

Lawrence Gowan
Lawrence Gowan (Photo credit: OpalMirror)

A classic tune from a well-travelled artist.  He is the current lead singer for Styx.

3. Gandharvas


Cover art for the album Sold for a Smile by Th...
Cover art for the album Sold for a Smile by The Gandharvas (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Great song from the early 90’s.  Kick back and enjoy.

4. Chalk Circle


The Best of Chalk Circle
The Best of Chalk Circle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some classic 80’s rock, a bit mellow and not my favourite song by the band.

5. Joel Plaskett Emergency

“Natural Disaster”

Joel Plaskett Emergency Playing the Aliant Stage
Joel Plaskett Emergency Playing the Aliant Stage (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Love this band.  Prolific and good, a deadly combination.

Idiot Sightings aka The Walking Brain Dead

Jimmy the Idiot Boy
Photo credit: Wikipedia

Math Challenged SIGHTING: My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, “You gave me too much money.”
I said, “Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a loonie back.”
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said “We’re sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing.” The clerk then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at MacD‘s.

Math Challenged SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a “large” enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.”
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, “NOOO, it‘s not. Four is larger than two. . ..”

We haven’t used Sears repair since. Happened in Ottawa

What???: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”

Story from Collingwood, Ontario.

Excuse me???: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.”
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Winnipeg, Manitoba .

Where’s the logic?: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, and “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?”
To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?”
He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That‘s why we ask. “

Happened in Toronto, Ontario.

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it‘s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?”

She is a government employee in Montreal, P.Q.

HUH?: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers’ side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
“Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it‘s open!”
His reply, “I know. I already got that side.”

This was at the Ford dealership in Guelph, Ontario

STAY ALERT! They walk among us …

Our Memoriam to Dale Rempel – Lisbon, Portugal

On our arrival in Lisbon. Portugal, we were saddened to be informed that my cousin Lynn’s husband Dale had succumbed to cancer.  This put a damper on an otherwise exuberant day, and we would think of him and his family often during the trip.  We had last seen Dale in a set of unusual circumstances in October of 2011.  Lori and I had hopped a plane in Winnipeg on our way to Ottawa, where we were heading out on a fall road trip though Quebec.  Amazingly, Dale and Lynn walked past us on the plane and sat directly behind us.  An absolutely amazing coincidence.  We spent a bit of time chatting on the plane and a bit of time in the Ottawa airport before we went our separate ways.  He was a great person and will be missed terribly by all in his circles.

Keeping in mind that we are not Catholic, and neither are Dale and Lynn, we decided on an appropriate tribute ( we think) in that we were in Spain and Portugal, both of which have a multitude of beautiful cathedrals.  we decided we would light a candle in remembrance in each cathedral we visited.

Our first candle was lit in the famous Sao Domingo cathedral in Lisbon, just off Rossio Square.



New Canadian Music By Serena Ryder

English: Serena Ryder performing at Showbox, S...
English: Serena Ryder performing at Showbox, Seattle 4-26-09 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Singer-songwriter Serena Ryder has released her new album today, “Harmony”.  This is her 6th album to go along with 6 EP’s and 3 live compilations.   Her music has elements of folk, mixed with contemporary alternative and a touch of country.  Her career path is taking her on the steady path to stardom as each album garners more notice and critical acclaim.  CBC2 in Canada plays a steady diet of her old and new material, for which i am thankful.  I have inserted two tunes off the album.  The first is “What I Wouldn’t Do” which is a contemporary indie style song and the second is an out-and-out rocker called “Stompa”.  Both are representative of her work.

What I Wouldn’t Do


A Second Day In Lisbon

We awoke early on the second day, feeling the worse for wear from the dual effects of jet lag and my jet lag cure.  What is my jet lag cure you ask.  Well, it is simple.  Get where you are going, then find a nice place to sit and drink.  Drink copious amounts of alcohol, while fighting off sleep as long as possible.  In this case, I must have got some good sleep on the plane cause I pressed my theory until at least 1:00 AM.  The result, I definitely slept, but am thinking the jet lag would have been better than the hangover.

Up and ready, this was to be our only full day in Lisbon.  We left the B&B and headed out.  First, a couple of pictures of the place.  This first one is the entrance.  It was kind of cool as the restaurant had seats right in front of the door.  Whenever we entered or exited, we felt like we were using a secret entrance to somewhere special.

Our room was a terrace, which is in the top left of this picture.

We carried on down the hill and ran into the old city, very heavy on the shopping.

Rossio Square
Santa Justa Elevator



Canada even has its own stores in other countries

More than a few explorers left this harbour.

We then headed towards the castle on the hill and quickly learned that the city of Lisbon has some spectacular views.

I was pretty happy with this shot
Lori and I with the city spread out behind us

The city has lots of windy streets, built into the hillside.  Other than along the shore, there were very few areas that one could call flat.  Our day in Lisbon was coming to an end. We headed back to Zuza Bed and the headed out for dinner.  Another terrific meal.  Still a bit tired and as big trip to Sintra in the morning, we decided to call it a night.  We did have a terrific sight awaiting us when we hit the terrace though.  The moon had risen behind the castle hill and looked terrific.  This shot doesn’t do it justice, but you get the idea.

Related articles


Remembering Abram Wilson

Nathaniel Facey (sax) and Abram Wilson (trumpet)
Nathaniel Facey (sax) and Abram Wilson (trumpet) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


The music world lost Abram Wilson June 9, 2012.  He passed at the age of 38 of colon cancer.  Far to early.  I have explored jazz, and the trumpet in particular through an introduction to Donald Byrd, and discovered Abram in my travels.  Spectacular player, absolutely amazing.  He was born in New Orleans and lived in London, UK.  Have a listen to the cuts I have included and then dig a bit deeper, satisfaction is guaranteed,






Abram Wilson Quartet



%d bloggers like this: