Friday Funnies – Email of the Week

From my friend Barry

 Quotes from David Feherty

Feherty is a Golf Channel announcer who finds very unique, colorful
And uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is on his
Mind…… Probably always on time delay these days.

Feherty Quotes:

“Fortunately, he (Rory) is 22 years old so his right wrist should be
The strongest muscle in his body.”

“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”

“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is attending the
Birth of his next wife.”

“They don’t do comedy at the Masters. The Masters, for me, is like
Holding onto a really big collection of gas for a week. It’s like
Having my buttocks surgically clenched at Augusta General Hospital on
Wednesday, and surgically unclenched on Monday on the way to Hilton

Jim Furyk’s swing – “It looks like an octopus falling out of a tree.”

“He’s (Luke Donald) a bloody walking ATM. I slid my AmEx between the
Cheeks of his ass and out popped $500.”

Describing VJ’s prodigious practice regime – “VJ hits more balls than
Elton John’s chin.”

“That’s a great shot with that swing.”

“It’s OK – the bunker stopped it.”

At Augusta 2011 – “It’s just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a
Day like this would be to play golf on it.”

“That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.”

“Everything moves except his bowels.”

“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a
Balloon near the edge of a cliff.”

“That green appears smaller than a Pygmies nipple”.

About John

I enjoy travel, sports, music (a dedicated site at and anything else that jumps up at me for the moment, which is why I blog. There will be lots of travel posts, pictures and our videos as well as a smattering of sports and humour. I enjoy promoting Canada and am unabashedly a proud Albertan

Posted on February 17, 2012, in General, Golf, Humour, Sports and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I would watch golf just to hear this guy.
    And I hate watching golf. I’d rather drive a bucket of balls (badly) or play (badly) at the pitch n putt.

  2. Hi,
    Great quotes. 😀

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